WhiteOut
04-09-2004, 03:53 PM
Okay so this dork at work has a riced out 98' Escort ZX2. I wish I could post a pic of it since its so friggin ugly, but alas my household is stuck in the SLR film age (digital wha???). To give you an idea of what it looks like, just picture an Escort (ewww) with a huge wing, a fart can, and an entirely whited out exterior (including tail lights and headlights). Plus in an effort to beef things up even more he's got 1.2 million stickers and a grey vinyl interior he's painted white (OOOOOOO AAAAAHHHHHH). So anyways, he claims that he has a 3" cat back exhaust, a chip, some special intake and a bunch of other crap. He generally goes around work talking up his 200hp car, although I'm guessing since the exhaust appears to be stock other than the gay muffler he's a big fat liar. The one thing he does have going for him is a five speed manual and HUGE 14" rims...
He's been bothering me for weeks to "see what I've got under the hood" and race him, but I've resisted untill last night since I deemed it a total waste of time.
So anyways on the way home from work we found a nice straight section of road and stopped to make sure no one was coming first. We lined up he counted it down and we took off. Keep in mind I didn't do any brake stands or anything since I wasn't willing to hurt my car in a race with an Escort. I got a slightly late start since he counted it down, but by the time we were at 40 I'm a good car length ahead, and by 60 its almost two lengths. I don't even know how badly I spanked him in the quarter, but it had to have been 4 or five lengths. It was just pitiful. So after that debacle he stops behind me at the stop sign ahead and flashes me a couple times. He wants a rematch...fine...a rematch it is. This time I did a brake stand though, and surprise surprise I kicked his ass again.
I thought getting his ass kicked would shut him up, but when I went to get my check earlier today he had told everyone in the store how slow my car was and how he could have beaten me with ease, but he wanted to "see how fast my car was". I'm like God buddy get over it, I've got a 15 second car and you've got a 19 second car. Deal with it. There's nothing you can do to your Escort to overcome a 100hp deficit, short of buying a new car.
Stupid ricers.
He's been bothering me for weeks to "see what I've got under the hood" and race him, but I've resisted untill last night since I deemed it a total waste of time.
So anyways on the way home from work we found a nice straight section of road and stopped to make sure no one was coming first. We lined up he counted it down and we took off. Keep in mind I didn't do any brake stands or anything since I wasn't willing to hurt my car in a race with an Escort. I got a slightly late start since he counted it down, but by the time we were at 40 I'm a good car length ahead, and by 60 its almost two lengths. I don't even know how badly I spanked him in the quarter, but it had to have been 4 or five lengths. It was just pitiful. So after that debacle he stops behind me at the stop sign ahead and flashes me a couple times. He wants a rematch...fine...a rematch it is. This time I did a brake stand though, and surprise surprise I kicked his ass again.
I thought getting his ass kicked would shut him up, but when I went to get my check earlier today he had told everyone in the store how slow my car was and how he could have beaten me with ease, but he wanted to "see how fast my car was". I'm like God buddy get over it, I've got a 15 second car and you've got a 19 second car. Deal with it. There's nothing you can do to your Escort to overcome a 100hp deficit, short of buying a new car.
Stupid ricers.